7 Habits of Highly Effective Ninjas – Special Election Edition

Of all aspects of modern society that ninjas have infiltrated, there is probably one that arena that has been unimpeachable… until now.

There is one question on the minds of political pundits when the issue of ninjas hits the table. What politics will they follow: Republican or Democratic. They are always surprised when they hear the answer:

Ninjas engage in the politics of FEAR!

The Ninjatic Party has proposed a very aggressive platform on which they will run their campaign.

Below I have detail the planks:

1) Economy: The official policy of ninjas is that the Federal Coffers will “fill themselves”; however, if we examine the historical record we will see that ninjas only know how to make money two ways. Steal it or hire out their services. It is quite possible that in a Ninja Administration this is how funds will be generated. It has been stated in several high level meetings that England’s Crown Jewels are “ripe for the picking”. Even the possibility of ransoming the prince has been proposed. Although these tactics are outdated and have been called “ridiculous” by most economists they have received a staggering amount of support from the public to the tune of 85%, believing that this will lower taxes.
2) Education: The ninjas have proposed a universal policy for education. It involves what has been dubbed “The School of Hard Knocks”, but despite its reference to Annie, this will be no lovable orphanage. Children will be taken from their parents (forcefully if necessary) at the age of 6 and taken to an undisclosed location to learn the ways of the ninja. When they turn 16 they will face a grueling test of physical and mental challenges. This test will determine what career they will pursue.
3) Health Care: The ninja health care plan is probably their most simple. If a wound or illness is not curable with suturing, cauterizing or Robitussin the patient is euthanized. This will take considerable pressure off the nation’s hospitals; however, it is seen in many circles as inhuman.

Although this election may already be decided, the strength of the Ninja Party had been growing in recent months and by the end of the decade may be considered a major player.

To send us off I thought it would be fun to discuss the more image related issues taken by ninjas.
1) Campaign Song: Queen’s unmatchable Princes of the Universe. Often at rallies you will hear chants of “Here we are, born to be kings” and “I am immortal, no man can be my equal”.
2) Campaign Slogan: Change that’s good for you… that you won’t even see coming.
3) The ticket: Neil Patrick Harris, President. Ralph Macchio, VP. Yes, they’re both ninjas.