Recently an advance copy of the latest “7 Habits” book was stolen from Fireside Publishing. Its contents will be detailed over the next several months, the first section of which is as follows:
There are certain edicts that, if a man follows them, will guarantee a life of wealth, joy and prosperity. Ninjas follow a very similar set of standards. Below is the first of these pearls:
Never lie about the size of your katana
Many times in his life a ninja will find himself confronted with questions about his weaponry. Often these come from the spirited longings of geishas. But one must never fall into the temptation of lying. Ninjas must always be prepared for an unexpected battle with a shogun or ronin. This will expose your katana for its true length. The ancient adage “It matters not the size of your sword, but the sharpness of your blade” can easily be applied to this situation.
Any ninja will find that a smaller katana, used with skill, will always outperform the large, unwieldy and poorly utilized one. Studies have shown that from Tokyo to New York to Oslo, ladies of the ninja-nightlife always choose a warrior with a steady hand and a keen eye – size does not factor.
This is the first and easiest of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Ninjas, however, you would be wise to not discount it. Every legendary ninja has followed this and the value it teaches as the basis of his greatness.
Before continuing to the second habit, we must address a situation one in ten ninjas will confront in his lifetime: Blunted Attack Dysfunction, or B.A.D. Many ninjas have experienced it, the fear that your blade will become blunted mid-battle or an unexplainable limpness in your wrist. The important thing to remember in times like these is that you’re not alone, and there is help out there. If you think you may be suffering from BADness please call this confidential number 1-800-BAD-LESS (1-800-223-5377) and one of our representatives will have you back on the battle field in no time. Just remember BADLESS, because no ninja should go into an assassination questioning if he’ll be able to “seal the deal”.
There are certain edicts that, if a man follows them, will guarantee a life of wealth, joy and prosperity. Ninjas follow a very similar set of standards. Below is the first of these pearls:
Never lie about the size of your katana
Many times in his life a ninja will find himself confronted with questions about his weaponry. Often these come from the spirited longings of geishas. But one must never fall into the temptation of lying. Ninjas must always be prepared for an unexpected battle with a shogun or ronin. This will expose your katana for its true length. The ancient adage “It matters not the size of your sword, but the sharpness of your blade” can easily be applied to this situation.
Any ninja will find that a smaller katana, used with skill, will always outperform the large, unwieldy and poorly utilized one. Studies have shown that from Tokyo to New York to Oslo, ladies of the ninja-nightlife always choose a warrior with a steady hand and a keen eye – size does not factor.
This is the first and easiest of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Ninjas, however, you would be wise to not discount it. Every legendary ninja has followed this and the value it teaches as the basis of his greatness.
Before continuing to the second habit, we must address a situation one in ten ninjas will confront in his lifetime: Blunted Attack Dysfunction, or B.A.D. Many ninjas have experienced it, the fear that your blade will become blunted mid-battle or an unexplainable limpness in your wrist. The important thing to remember in times like these is that you’re not alone, and there is help out there. If you think you may be suffering from BADness please call this confidential number 1-800-BAD-LESS (1-800-223-5377) and one of our representatives will have you back on the battle field in no time. Just remember BADLESS, because no ninja should go into an assassination questioning if he’ll be able to “seal the deal”.
1 comment:
Wow!! i cant believe you posted something like that...i thought we were brothers us male ningas must stick together...Rule #1 Never reveal a ninjas secret... thats your next subject.
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